The Paula Deen Chappaquiddick Incident

My mother seems to be changing history…. in her mind.  This is not referring to senility or anything of that nature.  Just that she starts on these wonderful stories and then starts making stuff up. Unfortunately, I’m not the one who takes obfuscation of the facts lightly.  No, I’m not a lawyer.  Just a seeker of truth!  For the record, this is not a “prove me wrong” story.  Just a funny incident that I want to record while it’s fresh in my memory (it happened literally 10 minutes ago).

Anyway, 9 times out of 10, my search for the facts begins with good ole Wikipedia, by no means the final source, but let’s just say its accuracy is usually good enough for government work.  If we can agree on that, then please keep reading.  If not, just know that I cross-checked my facts with Paula Deen’s own website and history as she herself describes it.  So now you can keep reading.

We have this cookbook in our living room of Paula Deen and I happened to pick it up because Paula Deen’s two sons are on the cover.  I remember my mamma telling me how fat they were at one point, but they didn’t look to fat, a fact that I brought to her attention.  And then it began…

Mamma said that she watched those kids grow up on TV, and they were definitely fat.  She said they used to always be with her on her cooking show that she had been watching for years since she moved to Atlanta.  Something about that last statement just didn’t sit right with me.  I’m no cooking show expert, but has Paula Deen really been on TV since 1990?  The first I had ever heard of her was in 2006 when my sister-in-law bought one of her cookbooks when she visited me in LA.  So my natural instinct was to go fact-check this.

Of course, I found out that Mamma had romanticized the whole bit.  I asked her if she maybe was mistaken, but she firmly disagreed.

As it turns out, Paula Deen didn’t have her first cookbook until 1997, and her own cooking show until 1999, at which point her boys were 19 and 22, respectively, hardly in a growing up stage, but still young nevertheless.  I relayed these facts to my mother who quickly disputed the veracity of any information I found on my computer.  And this is where it gets funny.

She said… “It’s like Jackie Kennedy…”  (What the heck does that have to do with anything?) (and i’m paraphrasing the rest)  She claims that she was frightened for her children and that’s why she married that Onassis.  Everyone knows she married him for his money.”  To which I told her, “You’re probably right, but you certainly can’t prove it.”  She said “Everybody knows!”  So I said, everybody knows what they’ve heard on TV or read in the paper.

Then she goes on about Ted Kennedy killing that girl at that island.  She’s referring to the Chappaquiddick Incident, of course.  Again, I said, “You’re probably right, but you can’t prove it.”  And she chimed in again…”Everybody knows!”.  She went on to say that she lived through it and that’s why she knows and is a good source of information.  And proceeded to lambast me for putting so much trust in the computer, as if I go to the computer as some oracle of information or something.

So, not knowing why the Kennedy’s ever played a role in our Paula Deen discussion, I thought this might be a good time to bring us back to the issue at hand.  I asked my mom why she would put so much clout in the newspapers, magazines, and television shows that she would believe it without doubting it at all.  She is so funny and so full of logical conflicts.  She said, I heard Jackie O being interviewed.  Right from her own mouth.  And so I asked what about Ted Kennedy?  didn’t you hear him being interviewed and denying that he killed that girl.  She said that of course she did, but that he was lying.  How can you persuade that kind of logic?

There was about 10 more minutes of discussion.  Most of it was futile and therefore not worth mentioning here.  The only thing of note is that my mother said I would have made a good lawyer.  On that, I’m not so sure.  What I do know is that even after showing her all the evidence, she still doesn’t believe me.  Because after all, she lived through the 90’s and therefore it has to be the way she remembers.  To hell with Wikipedia and all that! (note the sarcasm).  And since I could not prove to her with Paula Deen’s own story, I could only offer that maybe she was mistaken.

Again, please don’t misread the intent of this article.  It is a matter of history for my life.  And I believe it’s funny, in a way.  It’s Old World mentality versus New World.  It’s the older generation versus the new (and even mine isn’t so new anymore).  It’s the industrial age thinking versus the information age.

And these are the kinds of fun conversations you, too, can have with your mothers if you choose to move back home in your mid-thirties!

Home Body

Hey World!

I’ve been spending a lot of time at home since I moved back home last February.  I’ve become a homebody without a doubt.  I’m pretty convinced that I’m happy about it, too.  =]

I keep strange hours… mostly because I’m naturally a night owl, methinks.  I think it’s also because I can work quietly into the night without distraction, and sleep away the morning (also without distraction) without worry about making it into a 9-5 or anything.  I am definitely fortunate in this regard.  Entrepreneurship has its advantages… along with its risks.

I like to eat at home… who doesn’t?!  Luckily, of course, I have my mother who is an outstanding cook.  She lets me work (or whatever) and I show up for meals.  What a deal!  But don’t take this to mean that I’m mooching off of moms.  That is far from the truth.  She is every bit as happy that I am home to keep her company.

I don’t miss going out… and while I do miss my friends, it is definitely a time commitment.  And so I choose to go it alone for the most part.

I don’t have money to burn… for the least of all things has become the most of all things.  And that thing is GAS.  Hell, I don’t even have my own jeep registered or insured right now.  Which brings me to my next point…

I’m working on my business!  And other ideas that keep me up at night.  All of my money and most of my time goes into my business or thinking about my business.  So I’m perfectly willing to spend a good year working from home as I get this thing going.  Then I’ll get back to the guy I used to be when I had a little money to spend, time to kill, and a few friends to do it all with.

When the truth hurts… or… the difficulties of moving back in with your mom at 35.

So I ask you all (whoever and wherever you are) this question. Is it wrong to point out to one’s mother that she is mischaracterizing herself?

Today, we were having a fun morning, that is, my mother and I, admiring our work. We have been reorganizing the kitchen. We started with the pantry, then moved to the fridge/freezer, and finished off with the cabinets. I was going to post pictures, but lo and behold, that spawned a whole other argument later in the evening.

Anyway, to give some background, I’ve been living in California for the last five years. Now my mother’s house is impeccable when you see it. But she is a packrat. And behind every closet door and in every cabinet, there is an unorganized mess. I thought it’d be fun to help organize it all. So i put together this project list and placed it in the kitchen. Hopefully we get through a project per week at a minimum. Faster, of course, is better.

So my mom, in admiring her work this morning, states, “I am not the type of person who likes clutter. I like to organize things from the inside out.” To which I, of course, replied, “Your behavior doesn’t necessarily indicate that, you know.” Ok, ok. Total disclosure. It was more like, “You’re kidding, right? The fact that we are doing these weekly projects in the first place shows that that isn’t true.” In further discussion on the matter, I did, in fact, use the previous line.

Now, I’m not saying that my mom is a mess. She’s clearly not. But we had it out. She was immediately offended and started in with the “oh well, you’re so perfect” bullshit, and “now we’re going to what you just love to do, arguing arguing.”

While her first statement was certainly untrue, her second statement might be somewhat true. I like to “discuss” stuff. But I also will call a spade a spade. I asked her to reflect on the statement she just made and admit that she doesn’t necessarily live by her words that started the whole issue.

So this is the difficulty I face. The obvious thing is not to criticize one’s mother. Let her have her thoughts and just go along with it. But the thing that bothers me is that I wasn’t particularly malevolent toward her by any means when I made my initial comment. So what’s the harm in having an opposing idea, even when it’s your mom? What’s your opinion?

Update:  I’ve been coached by one friend to stop being such an obstinate SOB!  Sound advice, imho.